Since the new year, we've faced a new parenting/moral dilemma. I would love a little feed back on what you would do.
Lee is in a new Primary class. Since I think most of my readers are LDS, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you're not, that's wonderful! Primary is the children's Sunday School in our church. He attends it for about 2 hours every Sunday, and in our particular meeting schedule, he goes to his class very first thing, with about seven other students his age, and then he goes into the full Primary sharing time for about forty minutes. We end with our family Sacrament Meeting. That's the setup.
The problem is Lee's teacher--who I don't even know her name and truly have nothing against--is a smoker. In a church that is strongly against all tobacco use, this is highly unusual. It is obvious she smokes up to the point she comes in the building. When she is sitting in Lee's classroom, I can smell the smoke in the hallway.
I don't want to be mean, or hurt her feelings, but I don't feel comfortable sending Lee into a classroom, cooped up with this strong smell for two hours. He literally comes away from Primary smelling of cigarette smoke himself. I just don't think this is a conducive spiritual environment, and it makes me pretty upset as a parent.
So, question here: what would you do?
Here's what we did:
Cody and I discussed at length what should happen. We considered anonymous letters because I'm pretty non-confrontational. But we know those never go over well. So we decided to call the Primary President, who we've met before. We didn't want to confront his teacher personally, because that could lead to backlash and anger on Lee. So we called the President last night and she said she too was concerned about the kids health and well-being. She promised she would bring it up to the Bishopric and let us know. Cody and I have now decided to give it another week, but if she's still smelling so strongly of smoke, we don't feel comfortable taking Lee to that class. We'll take him with us to our classes if necessary; we just can't let him be alone with that smell anymore.
Am I being irrational? I hope not. I just know I, Lisa, wouldn't want to go to into a small classroom with someone who smelled like that for two hours. Why in the world would I force my son to put up with it? I think the other parents and teachers are probably frustrated with it as well. I don't know if other people have brought it up, but we were very gentle and kind in our chat with the Primary President, and she was very understanding. I hope we are a catalyst for good change, and nobody gets hurt or offended. That's the last thing we want.
Anyway. Just food for thought. And a good experience to blog. :)