Some thoughts about this pregnancy, as I approach the last month:
Time to start my oh-so-favorite 1 week appointments and progress checks and stuff like that. We are getting close! I think I've convinced myself that I could go a few days overdue again and it wouldn't be too big of a deal. There's some really fun things right around Elsie's due date that I'd like to attend, and the only way I will be able to attend them is if I am still pregnant. Besides, having a November baby wouldn't be so bad. So now, we are working on getting everything ready. I want to devote a little time each day to just meditating and practicing breathing and basically just planning for the delivery. I tend to get so caught up in making sure the house is spotless and the clothes are clean and the freezer is packed with food that I forget the whole focus here: I am having a baby! Also, I noticed that I'm having a strong bout of nesting urges, and they're not satisfied with getting a couple of projects done. So, I might as well do a bit of work, and then try to self-center and prepare mentally for baby instead of just finding busy work.
At my Dr. appointment today I found out I haven't gained any weight the last few weeks, keeping my total around 13 pounds. Just like Katie, Elsie is quite shy of the monitor and prefers to kick it or roll away from it rather than let anyone hear her heartbeat. Consequently, it was surprisingly difficult to find her heartbeat today. She was performing some amazing acrobatics last night, so I'm glad she's still head down. I think she might be sideways or even posterior, though. I'm not too worried about it. Everything else looks good and right on target.
Being 35 weeks pregnant sure messes with everything, though. I go to the bathroom around once an hour, I can't run for the life of me--even to get out of the pouring, chilly rain, my back aches and I have headaches and charlie horses on a daily basis, I still have congestion that is really annoying, and I totally rely on my daily afternoon nap for some small dose of sanity. I wake up each morning with a head full of worries and a list of odd items that I feel cannot wait another possible second, so I start on my projects and lose energy after about half an hour. Then I look at my list again and realize most of it is ridiculous and I spend the rest of the day trying not to feel like a failure. Cody is such a help in this part, since he reminds me of the important things, and is always so sweet and generous to point out what I do accomplish and help me with the rest. For example, I've been freaking out that we don't have the things we need to bring home a baby. Today he helped me get to the store and buy diapers, wipes, and some new onesies. He reminded me that we do NOT need ten boxes of diapers, plus a year's supply of toilet paper, food, shampoo, and clothes for the rest of the kids. Then he complimented me on being super prepared already, thanks to the canning and food storage and couponing I've been doing the past few months. See? I love that man.
I love my family. I love my kids. I love my life and am excited to have Elsie join us. I know the next few weeks are going to be hard work, but we can do it!