Thursday, October 17, 2013

38 weeks and approaching the longest 2 weeks of my life

Today I'm 38 weeks along; that's incredible!  I really do feel like this entire pregnancy has gone quickly, although I know these next two weeks will be the longest ever.  I always feel like time slows down at the end of pregnancy and speeds up with a newborn, and I wish it could be opposite.  I'm getting antsy to hold and snuggle my baby outside of my body instead of in. 

I've been having progressively harder days, more and more frequently.  I'm sore, I'm tired, I'm having pressure and Braxton-Hicks contractions, mornings are nauseous and I'm congested and headachey.  When the pressure and contractions set in I kind of get excited though, because I hope they're helping some.  My doctor is currently out of town and won't be back until Sunday (three more days), and since I've already met his partner who would deliver Elsie if I went into labor, and since I really don't have a chance of going into labor anyway and I'm very low risk, we chose not to have a checkup this week.  It's ok--one less uncomfortable internal exam and one less opportunity to be disappointed in my lack of progress. 

*Venting time... you can skip this paragraph if you want*  But the hormone-fueled grumpiness is starting to rear its ugly head.  I'm frustrated that I can't get anything done, that I want to do so much, that other people can go into labor and have babies and I can't.  I'm frustrated that my body hurts, and then when I feel good I'm frustrated that it doesn't hurt because it means more waiting.  I'm frustrated that I get starving hungry, eat a few bites, and am stuffed.  I'm frustrated that if I bend over or lie down I get heartburn no matter what.  I get frustrated when Elsie is moving so much that it hurts, and then I get frustrated (and worried) when she falls asleep and stops moving.  I'm just uncomfortable no matter what and am ready to be done.  I'm trying to rely on the decisions we've already made to wait until November for an induction, since I know there's some good reason for it, but every day it gets harder and harder to wait.  I look at the calendar and my eyes wander to October 24 and I feel this surge of  particularly fierce frustration knowing that my doctor would be willing to induce me at that point but that I'm going to have to tell him no... and even worse--since I WILL tell him no, it officially becomes my choice and therefore voids my right to complain.  So this is my last chance to whine away.  Maybe.  I'll probably still whine anyway. 

So, that's life right now.  The rest of the family is doing great.  The kids are fantastic helpers.  Right now is Fall break so there's no school for a couple days, and we had a good time making breakfast together.  We had the kids help, and at one point Katie and Anna were taking turns whisking eggs, and Katie had already mixed up the juice.  Lee grabbed the spoon for the juice and started mixing it--but Katie didn't like that too much and said, "No Lee, that's MY job!" so he gave her the juice.  Then Anna started mixing the eggs, and Katie yelled, "No Anna, my turn!" so she gave her the fork for the eggs, and for a few minutes Katie was stirring the juice with one hand and the eggs with another.  It was hilarious.  Fortunately, she did end up relenting and allowing her siblings to help her out and take turns.  We have great kids and really are doing well, I promise.  Cody is helping me cross off my list and we have even been able to spend some fun time on dates and hanging out with friends.  Life is great.  Granted, it will be greater with Elsie here, but there you have it. :)

3 comments:

Laurie Fifield said...

Hang in there, keep busy, find a project to do and then the time will go too fast. An easy, fun, sitting project.

John and Anna said...

Oh man. You have every right to complain. I'm sorry things have to be so hard for you and hope somehow that the next two weeks will feel faster to you.

Granny D Fifield said...

Your description of breakfast shows that you are handling challenging hurdles well. We are proud of you.